During an interview this month, New York Times bestseller Dr. Wednesday Martin, the author of Untrue said: “Many experts now believe monogamy is a tighter fit for women than for men. This Christmas give your wife something she really wants. Something truly exciting. A hall pass.” If you have questions don’t worry we have answers!
Why a hall pass
Recent studies have shown that often times the drop in libido in a relationship is actually a result of monogamy. People struggle to continue to desire what they already have over long periods of time.
However consensual non-monogamy is a relatively new concept and many people still fear that it could blow up their marriage.
For many people the idea of sharing their partner at all is maddening. If you are one of those people a hall pass is definitely not for you. However if you find you and your partner have lost the spark and are wondering if there is a way to salvage the relationship and bring back the passion you both felt early on then keep reading.
Non-Monogamy Happens
If you have ever found yourself wondering “will I ever have sex with anyone but my partner before I die?” and struggled with the answer a hall pass may be right for you. There is a big difference between consensual non-monogamy and cheating. The first step is opening up the dialog. Be honest, respectful, and open with each other. If you are not both in agreement with the hall pass and open about what is okay and not it could destroy your relationship.
Hall passes don’t have to mean Infidelity
The most important thing to figure out is what kind of hall pass would work best for your relationship. Perhaps your hall pass could involve your partner, for example a pass for one night a month, or week, to try a new type of intimacy or sexual experience with your partner. Another option that many couples have had success with is a pass to go out one night a month without their partner with no questions asked. Some people have gone as far as to schedule partner free non sexual mini vacations alternating every other month who gets to go away.
The trick to a successful hall pass is talking to your partner and figuring out what would best benefit you both. Or you could always just stick with a more traditional Holiday gift like some sexy lingerie.
