If you are into some of the kinkier sides of sex, then you already know aftercare is important, this is especially true if you include more intense toys and activities into your sexual encounters. Aftercare is, in its simplest form, a post-sex wind-down ritual. Aftercare rituals are different for everyone, however, we have some tips for post play etiquette if you or your partner add pain to your pleasure.

First – First Aid

Tending to each others physical needs is as important as mental needs when it comes to impact scenes. When it comes to blood and/or knife play, wounds should be disinfected and patched up. Any bruising should be iced. If you have used restraints muscles may have cramped and tensed, Nothing releases tension like a long, drawn out massage. Make sure you are both rehydrating as well. If you play intensely chances are your bodies just had a workout and you need water and electrolytes replenished. Some sugary snacks to replenish blood sugars and ease drop are also a great idea to add to your aftercare.

Second – Debrief

Affirming your partner that they are loved, valuable and wonderful is a fantastic way to partake in aftercare. Praise their performance, let them know what you liked and didn’t like. Don’t worry about setting a limit for play if you are on the fence about it. If weeks, months, years, or decades down the road you find yourself interested in types of impact play you’d formerly side-lined, you can absolutely return to them then.

Finally – Reconnect

Letting your partner cuddle up while you bring them water and blankets is a great way to comfort and reconnect with them. You could also try cleaning each other up and brushing each other’s hair. Having slower, more sensual sex can function as aftercare in the face of humiliation or other rough play. It can allow partners to reconnect to who they actually are and disconnect from their roles as dominant or submissive. If you are sexed out and want to reconnect without using much energy cuddling is the way to go. Cuddling helps us release the hormone oxytocin, which can reduce stress and increase intimacy.

Don’t forget aftercare is important for dominant partners and submissive partners. While there is a lot of focus on aftercare for submissives, it’s also valuable for dominants to unwind.