Adventures in the bedroom, or dungeon, can be a lot of fun. It is easy to get lost in the intense responses and swept up in pleasure during these moments. When the intensity of sexual activities go up it’s not uncommon for tops and bottoms alike to lose the ability to communicate clearly. Especially when the sexual activity incorporates a mock resistance to it: so saying no and stop may actually be a part of play rather than a way to halt what’s going on.
There will be many different occasions during BDSM play, and sometimes even just slightly kinky play, where you will be unable to speak. In these cases, it is nice to have a backup signal to slow or stop the play. Here are some tips for when you find yourself tied up, gagged or otherwise unable to vocalize.
A safe object VS a safe word
When the time comes that you need a way to pause or completely stop sex or foreplay when you are bound and gagged you can try holding a set of keys or another noisy item in your hand to drop when needed. Another great safe object is a dog trainers clicker, however, if you use a bedroom soundtrack make sure the clicker is loud enough to be able to be heard over the noise and music.
Hand-signals as Safewords
If you are unable to speak and like to have your hands free during play then having to hold onto an object may serve as more of a distraction than a safety net. In these cases work out a predetermined hand signal, for instance, the sign language for “OK.” Just as with a safe word make sure the hand signal you and your partner agree on isn’t something you would normally do with your hand during play and is easily visible and understandable.
Do you and your partner have a great nonverbal play stop that we haven’t mentioned here? We would love to know more, leave us a comment below.
