According to the Kinsey Institute, roughly 30 percent of American adults enjoy some spanking during sex. Another twenty percent have experimented with restraints, and 13 percent have found themselves engaging with whips and floggers. If you’ve been curious about dipping your toes into kinkier waters like a little light bondage there are a few things beginners need to know before participating in the practice.
Open lines of communication
Having a strong practice of open communication in place is crucial to success in getting into discussions about kinky desires. You need to be able to talk about things like negotiations, boundaries, and consent. If you and your partner are not comfortable with talking about your sex lives you need to start working on you communication before you take things any further.
Learn
It’s always a good idea to do some research before embarking on any new endeavor. There is a plethora of literature and forums just a fingertip away on your phone. So, don’t rely on only porn to teach you the important things about your kinkier fantasies. A lot of kink comes with some inherent risks and it is important that both you and your partner are aware of them before you engage in play.
Keep it simple
If you are brand new to BDSM don’t dive right in with a pair of $250 handcuffs! Stockings can be used to tie someone up. Ribbon can be used as a blindfold. And if you do end up having to make a purchase or two, they don’t have to break the bank. Make a pitstop by home depot and buy something affordable while you are still figuring out if you even enjoy bondage!
Aftercare is paramount
In BDSM, “aftercare” refers to the affection and attention exchanged between partners following any form of play. If you have specific requests regarding what this might look like, well, that’s something you should probably discuss before things even get started. This is also a good time to talk about the scene. Let your partner know what worked for you and what didn’t or what you want to change next time.
Remember: just because you had an initial conversation surrounding your exploration into BDSM doesn’t mean you’re done talking about it. Communication is something that should be actively employed before, during, and after any BDSM activity. Check in with each other often while you are exploring the world of BDSM.
