People are becoming much more willing to let their freak flag fly lately. In fact, when surveyed nearly twice as many women as men said “light bondage/kink” is what they want more of in the bedroom. If you’re thinking kink isn’t your thing you may be surprised to find out, you may already be incorporating BDSM play into the bedroom without realizing it. For instance, bringing a person to the edge of orgasm and stopping briefly to prolong things is a form of “orgasm denial” in BDSM.
Still Unsure?
Try watching a mainstream movie that dabbles in BDSM, before you go hit play, we do not mean “50 Shades of Grey.” Instead try a movie like Secretary from 2002 or Basic Instinct from the early 90’s. If the leg crossing scene gets your blood heated, you may be more into BDSM than you’ve realized. If movies are something you don’t often find time for try downloading the “Modern Love” podcast and listening in your downtime.
Unsure about your Partner?
If you already know you would like to start adding some kink to your sex life but are unsure about your partners feelings try having a shopping spree! Visit your neighborhood sex-toy store together or browse an online shop from the comfort of your own bed. You’ll see tons of BDSM toys that will spark your imagination. If you aren’t sure you want to spend money on toys you aren’t sure you will employ often consider going to a sexual workshop to get a feeling for what situations you and your partner could mutually and safely enjoy.
Modify your Intensity Level
Don’t feel pressured to dive all the way in. It’s okay to dip your toes into different types of BDSM and see what you enjoy the most. You don’t have to complicate things. Not sure if you’re into pain? Try some hair pulling, scratching, or even a spanking. Think you might enjoy bondage but not ready to spring for a full set of under the bed restraints or spreaders? Try repurposing a tie or scarf into quick and simple restraints. Just remember not to tie them to tightly. You can even try modifying your dirty talk to replace babe or love with “sir” or “madam.”
Take your time trying new things and keep the things that feel the best to you!
