There are some pretty strange euphemisms out there for private parts both for ladies and gentlemen. Most that take phone sex calls have certainly heard our fair share of them. There’s plenty of ridiculous terms online most people have never even heard of that are supposedly used for penises and vaginas, but we will stick to ones most normal people are familiar with.
One client insists his penis be called his pickle, that’s the only word that will do, and if you slip you are corrected. Another was just as insistent that his be called his Willy. I’ve had ones that referred to it as their little white worm, a classic small penis humiliation client if ever there was one. Another client named Peter adores it when I call his member, “Little Petey.” I hear how “Little Petey” has been missing me. Awwwww. I have certainly found, without exception, for some reason black guys prefer dick to cock, no idea why, but it is very common to be corrected by a black guy if you say cock instead. Then we have the medical fetish guys, for whom only penis will do. Proper medical terminology at all times for the ones that are into medical role play, doctors, and nurses.
Now for the vagina and some of its terms. Again, for medical fetish guys, only vagina, vulva and clitoris will do, slip a pussy in there and you’ll hear it. I think pussy is a cute name and much nicer to hear than vagina; so clinical sounding! The C word, what guy doesn’t love the word “cunt”? Some ask for it by name. Many find it derogatory and crude. While it’s not cute and cuddly sounding like pussy is, it certainly has its place, and can add a certain kick it up a notch element to a phone sex conversation.
The honey pot, well, only if a man knows what he’s doing to get that honey flowing! The flower, if you have a pretty pussy, you might be lucky enough to have labia like petals on a flower. Some call it the clam, as indeed it can look similar and the pussy has been called the bearded clam. The muff, well if you’ve a shaved one not sure how applicable this one is, but for the ones sporting a veritable carpet between their legs, it is indeed fitting.
In England, they call the pussy the fanny, but of course we in North America think of the fanny as the ass. The pussy lips don’t escape the terminology either. They are called everything from the meat curtains, to another British term I’ve laughed when I heard it: piss flaps! You can’t forget the source of all our joy, the little pink pearl known as the clitoris, aka the clit, also the little man in the boat. We do indeed need a decent sailor to navigate these waters.
The vag is obviously short for vagina, but wasn’t it Oprah Winfrey who coined the odd vajayjay? Snatch I never quite got the meaning of, maybe it means they snatch the cum out of the guy’s pickle. The box also sounds a bit odd to me, yet is pretty well known. The pink taco I’d think most know, and the kitty seems to be on the rise in popularity. The fur burger, also not every applicable if you keep your kitty clean shaven.
Personally I call mine the Velvet Volcano, I heard that in a movie once and claimed it as my official pussy name since it does indeed fit. So whatever you personally like to call your meat stick or your one eyed snake, or your Little Miss is up to you, and we would love to hear your names!
