In the 21st century, Polyamory is something that is becoming more widely accepted in the dating world. Intimacy in polyamorous couples is something that requires rules and boundaries to keep the ship afloat and make sure everyone is having fun on the cruise. Are you going to have 2 individual partners- more like an open marriage? Are you all going to be in a relationship together? What level of intimacy is acceptable? These are all boundaries that need to be discussed, but first you need to have the initial discussion about opening your relationship to more partners.
Odds are before you’ve come around to this idea you’ve had a discussion about group sex or possible even engaged in a threesome. Exploring how you feel romantically about the situation is incredibly important to keeping up a healthy relationship. Done properly, polyamory is a way to keep your relationship alive if you’ve been together for awhile and are starting to fall into a rut.
The Initial Discussion: When having the initial conversation with your partner, it is important to give ample reassurance. You’re looking to improve your relationship, not replace it or replace your partner. Make sure they know that. Mention that you’re happy to abide by any boundaries necessary to build trust. Be respectful of the reaction your partner has because there is still a certain negative stigma to some and they may need time to adapt.
Explore: In every relationship, discussing boundaries is an important part of the discovery phase. If you skipped that portion of the relationship, this might be a little bit icier of a conversation. Make sure you test the waters to see what your partner is open to by gently hinting towards a group setting. Tone is very important in this conversation. “Have you ever considered involving another person into our lovemaking?” comes across much better than “I want to have a threesome.”
Be selfless: Thinking more about how your partner feels and trying to understand them is the key to navigating the rough waters that can sometimes present themselves. A lot of people explore in their relationships and their marriages.
Treat every new conversation that arises with the same sensitivity as the initial discussion and it should be smooth sailing.
