To do lists are a great way to make sure you’re getting things done, but most people overlook a very important priority on their lists. Their sex lives. Letting your partner know what you like and want is great, but it can sometimes be difficult to bring it up. Creating and sharing your sex to do lists with your partner is a great way to skip the potentially uncomfortable conversation and jump right in to getting exactly what you want.

What is a Sex to do list

First you and your partner each create a list with all of the sex acts you want to try. This does not have to be a sex bucket list just a list of things you would really like to do right now with your partner. You send the list to your partner. You separately write by each act a yes, a maybe or a no. Then compare your lists and get to work checking your mutual yes’s off first!

The benefits

If you are wondering how a spreadsheet could possibly help your sex life, there’s actually quite a few reasons. Communication is probably the most critical aspect of a healthy sex life. This is a convenient way of suggesting your desires without that really awkward first-time conversation. You also get to set your hard limits outside of the bedroom. Limits should always be negotiated outside of the sexy zone because it’s harder to say no when you’re getting physically intimate. Having written material that makes what you like and want explicit makes consent so much easier to give and look for. It makes moving from sex act to sex act more comfortable, especially for those of us who struggle with non-verbal clues. Your lists can also be updated and altered whenever you like, so if you originally said no to something, but after trying other things want to give it a go you can always change your answers around. Decided you didn’t like something on the list? Remove it. They are a great way to keep communication open between partners.

So what are you still doing here? Get going there are lists to be made, and things to be checked off!