There’s nothing like the look on our girls face when she’s staring at you standing at full attention when it comes time to get down and dirty. But what about those awkward moments when your “mini-me” wakes up at the wrong time? Pitching a tent may be a natural occurrence for a man, but some social situations just don’t call for a full on salute. It’s time to leave those awkward moments and looks of disgust and surprise behind, we’ve got some tips to help you soften the stiffy.
First things first, if the hulk in your pants is a reaction to your own naughty imagination, it’s time to settle down those hot and sexy neurons and think of something counter sexual. Pardon the pun, but there’s no hard and fast rule to what it has to be, everyone is different. It might be something completely depressing, or just a funny recap of last night’s sitcom. Getting lost in thoughts that don’t revolve around sex will have your erection deflating before you know it.
Another approach you can take is simply cooling off, but standing in front of an AC isn’t exactly what I mean. If you can get to a shower, a nice cold one is a great remedy, but let’s face it, the odds of you being where a shower is handy is slim to none. But the concept remains the same, you want to apply cold enough temperature to the affected area to restrict blood flow which will allow your stick to go limp. So try a cold drink pressed against your crotch or pat down with wet wipes, just be smart about it. Getting caught rubbing a can of soda against your hard on, or soaking your pants with a bag of ice could be more embarrassing than sporting a stiffy.
If you’re up for a really difficult stroll in the park, go ahead and try walking it off. This will allow for a distraction as well as pumping blood flow to other muscles. Some less squeamish men may even try punishing their genitals with a little pinching or squeezing to counteract the pleasure with pain. Now this might work, but if you’re the least bit into BDSM, you may have the opposite problem on your hand. You also run the risk of anyone seeing you thinking you’re jerking off, so this is one I’d avoid if possible.
But if all else fails, do try some math! There’s nothing more effective to kill a stiffy than working on some hardcore mental math. This not only takes an extreme amount of focus and concentration, which allows your brain to relinquish whatever sexual thoughts it may be harboring, but there’s nothing sexy about remembering the 15th decimal of pi. Now who said they’d never use math after graduating!
