Threesomes are actually a pretty common sexual fantasy. It is actually so popular, that it isn’t even considered a fetish. A lot of people want to do it, and lots of them do it. However, when we think of threesomes, many of us stop at the very first step: how to involve a third person in a safe, comfortable fashion. If you and your partner are looking to invite a third person into the bedroom. So if you’ve talked to your partner and both agreed you’d like to bring in a little extra fun, we have some tips that will help you approach the third person in a way that puts you both at ease.

Discuss Who You’re Both Comfortable with

When scouting for a third partner, consider your mutual friends first. Do you and your partner have a friend that is bisexual or bi-curious, do you have a preference to if your third is male of female? You both may find it easier to involve someone you are both already comfortable with, and there are more opportunities to drop hints and broach the topic of a threesome with a friend than there are with a total stranger.

Approach with Caution

Slyly bring up the topic of threesomes, hopefully, while all three of you are a little uninhabited and are having a good conversation. See how they react. If they seem open to the idea of threesomes in general then mention that you as a couple are also open to a threesome. Gauge their reaction to the idea. You may need to give it some time before asking them directly after you have insinuated that you are looking. It’s important to make sure they don’t feel pressured in any way, or you risk doing damage to your friendship. If you have decided to use a hookup website or app instead, then make sure both you and your partner meet them in a public place and get to know them a bit before jumping into bed. All three of you need to be comfortable with each other for the best sexual encounter.

Establish Clear Boundaries

After you’ve found a potential third make sure that all three of you get the opportunity to make clear what each one of you wants and expects because nobody likes being left out. If you’re planning to go hardcore, make sure you come up with a safe word, and mention anything that may push one of you out of your safe zone. Everyone should be equally pleasured and should have fun. You should also make sure you have enough condoms, ideally, you should change your condom after every sexual act. Also, make sure that everyone is tested before you get into it.

Once you have found someone and you are all comfortable with the direction of the encounter, go for it! After you should talk with your partner about how they liked it to see if they want a repeat encounter, a new 3rd or perhaps didn’t enjoy sharing you with someone else. Make sure to keep open lines of communication through all of it.