To have healthy relationships, you need to have good boundaries. To have clear boundaries, you need to have open lines of communication and clear positive consent. The phrase “positive consent” in relationships means making sure that each person has the choice to participate, and how they participate. Positive consent skills are about being able to communicate clearly with others about your boundaries on touch, teasing, and play – and staying aware and respectful of the boundaries of others. Sexting is a sexual act which means you should get consent before sexting your partner. This week we have some creative ways for you to get an enthusiastic “hell yeah let’s do this”!
“I’ve been fantasizing about you a lot lately, do you have time for me to text you all about my dirty thoughts?”
“I miss having sex with you. Until we are able to see each other again do you want to try sexting sometime this weekend?”
“I’m so turned on from that photo you sent me earlier. Can I tell you what I’d do to you if you were here or is it a bad time?”
“Since we’re not going to see each other for a while, I was thinking it could be fun to try sexting to keep us connected. Are you into that idea?”
“I am really missing you right now, and also really turned on. Are you alone and up for helping me feel like you’re here with me?”
Keep in mind sometimes if you don’t get a yes it may be a logistics problem not a boundary issue. If your partner is at work when you ask or knows they will be driving soon you may get a no even if the idea is appealing to them. Additionally, even if your partner is game for phone sex one night, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re open to it the following night. Be sure to get consent before each phone sex date. We will see you next week for more tips and tricks to help you master sexting!
