At the most basic level, sexting involves two people consensually texting each other about their erotic fantasies. It can be as simple as the quick recounting of a memory, or it can be a 10-paragraph erotic novel your partner writes specifically for you via iMessage without any expectation of a response besides a “thank you.” No matter what sexting is to you there are some basic rules you should be following.
Consent comes first
Just like any other kind of sex, always ask first, even if they’re someone you’ve sexted with before. You never know when someone could be in a meeting, or maybe even have kids playing on their phone at the moment.
No Sharing
You can share limitless pictures and fantasies with your partner, but never share anything your partner sends you with other people. This includes photos and videos but also any fantasies or kinks that your partner may have shared with you. You should even be wary of mentioning to others that you and your partner are sexting at all unless you’ve previously confirmed with your partner that they’re OK with this.
No Judging
Sexting can be a great way for you or your partner to feel safe sharing some more “taboo” fantasies or kinks that they haven’t mentioned before. Don’t make them regret opening up to you by judging them or otherwise making them feel bad about what they’re into. If you really aren’t into their kink its okay to redirect the conversation but try to do so without making them feel like you are repulsed by the entire conversation. Similarly, don’t be afraid to assert your own preferences so that your partner can learn about you, and if they try to change the direction of the conversation keep in mind they may not be into whatever kink you just brought up.
We will see you next week for more tips and tricks to help you master sexting!
