Happy Memorial Day! What could possibly go better with all the bar-b-ques and beer then some good old sex jokes and funny innuendo? We have scoured the web to bring you the best sex jokes and memes to share with your buddy’s while you wait for the pools to drain and the burgers to cook.
Q. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
A. One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
The teacher asked Jimmy, “Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?” Jimmy replied crying, “Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, ‘I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'”
Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist?
A: By becoming a ventriloquist!
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, “Mypenis,” and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, “Error. Not long enough.”
Q: What’s a porn star’s favorite drink?
A: 7 Up in cider.
Hung Chow calls in to work and says, “Hey, boss I not come work today, I really sick. I got headache, stomach ache and my legs hurt. I not come work.” The boss says, “You know Hung Chow, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife and tell her give me sex. Makes everything better and I can go to work. You try.” Two hours later Hung Chow calls again: “Boss, I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon. You got nice house.”
Q. What’s the best part about gardening?
A. Getting down and dirty with your hoes.
