As terms like “balls deep” and “Netflix and chill” are being added into everyday language, there are some awesome antiquated colloquialisms that would go perfectly in the urban dictionary.
Make a coffee house of a woman’s c*nt
The most poetic way ever to say “pull out.” This is a Shakespearean-era term. “Coffee house” is a term for a brothel; and when you pull out, you’ve treated the beautiful act of making love to your woman the same way you’d handle a lady of a coffee house. Anyone in the mood for some Starbucks?
Grass Sandwich
Next time you take your partner on a romantic picnic offer them a grass sandwich for dessert. This term was used to refer to sex outdoors. It could be totally versatile, a sheet sandwich, shower sandwich, sand sandwich the sandwich options are limitless. While you’re at it you could also “take a turn at bushy park” which in the 1800’s had more to do with hookers than actual parks.
Lechercraft
Hovercrafts are an actual thing now, so adding the word lecher to the beginning isn’t really too far of a stretch. Lechercraft was how acts of promiscuity used to be referred to, however today we call them “one night stands”. Picture it now “What did you do last night?” “Oh nothing really just lechercraft.” Sounds way cooler than a one night stand.
Horizontal Refreshment
Is your significant other a tall glass of water? Then this is the perfect way to suggest a “snack” break. If you are into food play then it doesn’t get much more appropriate than this 1860’s slang, unless you asked them to “pound your corn”. But then you would only be getting oral.
