Sexual tension is actually scientifically explained, that means not only can we understand it, we can create it. Once our excitation system is engaged and we directly interact with someone with whom we have sexual desire, we begin to incorporate the limbic systems in our brains into the response cycle. When our limbic systems interact with other limbic systems through eye contact, physical touch, belly laughter, or playful rough housing our bodies release dopamine, norepinephrine, and oxytocin (all the feel good stuff!).

What causes it?

It’s usually caused by a build-up of sexual attraction between two people. When two people find each other sexually attractive, they do things that keep the fire of passion burning and burning until, eventually, there must be a release. You can tell if sexual tension is mutual by analyzing the body language – is there eye contact? Smiling? Leaning in? Subtle Touching?

How to Detect it

A good rule of thumb when it comes to working out whether or not there is sexual tension is to check for eye contact. If they’re staring at you in the eyes as they talk to you, it’s a sign that they’re sexually attracted to you. Eye contact is one thing, but if they shift their gaze from your eyes for a moment and move your lips, it’s a huge sign that right at that moment, they’re probably thinking about all the things they’d love to do to you.

How to Create it

The same ways you detect it are good ways to create it. Make eye contact, touch them in casual ways just to have body contact. Keep conversation flowing, but drop your voice’s volume and pace. This will make them lean in to hear you better and look to your lips while anticipating what you’re going to say next that created the change. Get to flirting, smile and keep things playful, but unmistakably sexual over toned.

Lastly, sexual tension is a feeling deep within us. If you know that there is a mutual attraction between the two of you and intuitively feel it in your gut, you’re probably right. All that’s left to do is act on it.