Most people have heard of sexual repression. When someone is sexually repressed, they often associate sex with feelings of guilt, or shame. Usually, sexual repression begins forming early in life from religious beliefs, or cultural ideologies. Fewer people are aware of the ability to be sexually stunted. While it is possible to break past a repression, it is even harder to push through being stunted. The majority of people who find themselves sexually stunted are people who at an early age discovered that their sexuality is the easiest way to feel good and in control. This often leads to a lot of experimentation and multiple partners at a young age. Since sex is a feel good activity people who are sexually stunted often fail to find deeper intimacy in their sexual relationships. If you feel you are sexually stunted here are a few things you can try in order to help push yourself to develop more meaningful sexual interactions.
Find and Love the Cracks
No, we don’t mean THAT crack. There is an ancient Japanese aesthetic that honors all things old, weathered, and imperfect. Like the Japanese, we must learn to find and honor the cracks in ourselves and our partners. Yes, yes you’ve heard it a million times you need to love yourself first. In this case, it’s not about just loving yourself, it’s about loving the imperfections you find in yourself. This will not only help you be more at peace, and happier with yourself, but also shifting your perception of your behaviors, you will notice your behaviors themselves shifting. This will allow you to open up and see more favorable qualities in your partners beyond just sex.
Forget about your Baggage
Stay with us here, we know forgetting about all the things from your past is impossible. However too often people find themselves trapped by their baggage and their need to heal it all before moving forward in life. Working on getting through it is GREAT, but the truth of the matter is that if you are with the right partner your baggage won’t weigh you down. Your partner should love you and be your safe place to land, with the right one you will find yourself rapidly finding your way past, or at least through, the issues that have been weighing you down. Lightening up will open you up to enjoying yourself and your partner even more thoroughly and adventurously in the bedroom.
Abandon Perfection
Society has become obsessed with seeking perfection. To be happy you need the perfect spouse, perfect job, perfect children etc. Perfection is essentially unattainable. If you are constantly seeking perfection you will find yourself stunted in a perpetual state of frustration and disappointment. However, if you find perfection in the imperfections you will quickly work your way to a more fulfilling life. Remind yourself that just like the world around you, you were not designed to be perfect. Think of yourself as a piece of driftwood. An ancient, pitted, piece of wood that has lost its way weathered the storm and yet still catches the eye with its own innate beauty.
