When we equate intercourse and sex and call everything that comes before intercourse ‘foreplay,’ we are buying into the cultural script that sex should proceed as follows: foreplay , intercourse, orgasm, and game over. However, it’s Saturday and that means we are kicking down the walls around what’s normal! In fact, sex doesn’t have to involve intercourse at all. Even when it does, other forms of stimulation can add to the experience and may improve the odds of reaching orgasm.
So what is outercourse?
Outercourse is an option for sexual activity without intercourse. When you strip it down to the basics, that means different things to different people. For some, it’s everything except penis-in-vagina penetration. For others, outercourse means no penetration of any kind, including fingers, sex toys, and anal sex. Some choose outercourse as a safe sex alternative. They put boundaries around any activity that can cause pregnancy or transmit sexually transmitted infections. Since the definition of outercourse varies, the activities that count as outercourse all depend on who’s practicing it. Your personal definition of outercourse may depend on your reasons for trying it.
Why would you have outercourse?
Wondering why outercourse is worth it when you could be having “real sex” instead? Well, don’t knock it just yet. There are many situations where outercourse might be a great option. Anyone can practice outercourse, no matter your gender, sexual orientation, or whether you’ve had intercourse before. There are quite a few reasons someone may prefer outercourse, here are a couple. You don’t have protection, like if you forgot to bring condoms or take your birth control. One partner doesn’t want to be penetrated or penetrate due to not feeling ready, a painful health condition, trauma, or body dysphoria. You’re tracking fertility and want to avoid the risk of pregnancy on days when one partner is more likely to get pregnant. You want to avoid having sex during your period or your partner’s period. You’ve tried intercourse and decided you need more time before you’re ready for more. You want to mix things up and try something sexual that’s not intercourse. Whatever your reasons may be outercourse is a great way to enhance your foreplay game.
Things to do during outercourse
Sensual massages, kissing, and dry humping are all common forms of outercourse. Mutual masturbation is a great add in for couples who want to reach orgasm together without any kind of penetration. In some definitions oral sex is even an acceptable outercourse activity as long as tongues stay on the clitoris and labia and do not enter the vagina. If it feels good to you and doesn’t involve penetration then add it to your outercourse to do list!
We will see you next Saturday for more strange sex adventures!
