On Saturdays we like to honor the stranger sides of sex. This week in honor of Valentines day instead of delving into new strange things to try we have collected firsthand accounts of the strangest sex women of reddit have ever had. So, if you have a date this weekend with a new potential sexual partner, make sure to take notes on what NOT to do.

Double the un-satisfaction

“I was probably about 18-19, and I went to a three-day heavy metal festival. Back then I was very into casual sex. I was a bit bored, since I was at the festival by myself, and was just sitting in front of my tent one evening. A guy walked by, and I asked him if he was different. Unsurprisingly, he was. So we got to it, with protection of course, when my phone started ringing. It was my bang buddy from back home. So, I don’t remember how it happened, but I ended up having sex while also having phone sex at the same time. It was underwhelming.” Chances are if your sex partner answers the phone and starts having sex with someone else, you’re not at your peak performance.

Thirsty

“We were doing it on the floor and he said, ‘Wow. You’re so wet. I could fill up a cup and drink it.’ So bizarre.” Dirty talk is great, however, somethings are better kept to yourself.

Sounds Sus

“I hooked up with this very sweet guy, but after some pretty alright sex, he started talking about how he once had to have a catheter in, and how sexy it was, and how much he liked it, and then asked me if I knew what sounding was, and then pulled out a little case of sounding rods and a giant bottle of lube and asked me if I wanted to do it to him, or just watch. So, I watched. It was not at all arousing, but it was legitimately fascinating to see how it worked, and he seemed to really enjoy it. But that was the last time we hooked up because the idea of sticking a metal rod up a man’s penis makes my genitals worried.” Sounding is actually a rather common kink, however you should probably make sure your partner is into kinkier stuff before pulling out your toy stash.

King of the Dorm

“I briefly casually dated this guy and during the one time we had sex he started roaring like a lion. It was very weird, he was so loud. I was shocked, I never experienced anyone roaring in bed before, but he had his eyes closed and I don’t think he noticed my reaction. He was REALLY into it. We were in his dorm and his roommate also walked in on us at one point. The whole encounter was like something out of a sitcom.” Perhaps if you find yourself with animalistic bed habits, you should investigate the furry fetish before bedding a new partner who is unprepared for your wild side.

We will see you next Saturday for more strange sex adventures!