With the recent rise in popularity of polyamory and open relationships threesomes have become a pretty common topic of conversation. Threesomes are a relatively common fantasy and a great way to spice your love life back up is to engage in a threesome. They’re incredibly common and can be an amazing way to expand your horizons change up your sex life and play together as a couple. They are great when they go great but what happens when they go wrong? We’ll if your threesome consisted of three single people  Then it’s normally pretty easy to move on. However, if you are in a relationship with one of the people involved things can become a little more complicated.

Step One

If your experience didn’t feel completely right or even if you’re just feeling a little bit off the worst thing you can do is let it fester. Don’t shut it off don’t pretend you enjoyed it for your partners benefit don’t ignore that your partner has been acting differently since it happened instead just jump right in and say something doesn’t feel right. Talk through what you didn’t like about the threesome, whether it was that you felt left out, that it made you feel insecure, or you just didn’t find it that pleasurable. The first step you need to take is to talk about it.

Step Two

Once you’ve figured out what went wrong you need to take a moment and see if you can figure out why. Maybe one of you was more into it than the other? Did something take an unexpected turn? Was one of you not listening to the other’s nonverbal clues? It’s important for you to both be on the same page, so if you aren’t you need to figure out if there are any underlying issues causing the disconnect and fix them.

Step Three

If your threesome was a little lackluster, it might be difficult for you to know where to go from here. Do you try it again? Do you work on repairing your sex life? Do you try something completely different? It can help to think about why you were trying the threesome in the first place. The important thing is that, however you try to mix things up from here, you stick with something that you both feel comfortable with.

Threesome can be thrilling, and terrifying. It’s okay to take your time trying again. Just make sure before you do you address the issue, look for any underlying causes, and deal with any turbulence in your relationship first.