Ten Commandments of Tinder Talk: Commandment IX

Let’s face it, one of the prime reasons that girls break up with guys—aside from if they had a huge argument and ego was involved or if one of the two were cheating—is the killer, the one that most men don’t come back from: he simply was not “consistent enough.” Women love to be surprised, but what they want even more than that is consistency. For everyone that can make a dirty joke out of anything, get your mind out of the gutter, I don’t mean that kind of consistency. So moving along in our series of Tinder tips…

Commandment IX: Thou Shalt Be Consistent

Let’s break consistency down to it’s core, because this one word is extremely loaded. Being consistent is more than just texting a “hello” every day. There’s actually a lot that goes into it, but it has to do specifically with your actions.

Example 1: If a guy tells a girl “let’s go out,” he shouldn’t break the plans—do treat this part like a job. Unless you’re sick or there’s a death in the family, there’s no reason to cancel. Also be aware that whatever you initiate concerning your budding relationship with a woman, that is generally what she will expect from you.

Example 2: Taking her out to eat at a 4 star restaurant for the first date? Bad move. Trying to impress is not going with the flow (you’ve fucked up and already forgotten the tenth commandment; go back and reread), and from that point on, that’s mainly what she’ll expect from you. You can’t give a killer job interview and then put forth mediocre effort once you’re hired. Remember to go with the flow, and find something that you both spoke of in your conversations that you’ll both be engaged in. It’s easier to be natural and yourself when you’re in comfortable surroundings. And this way, you’ll consistently be yourself, which brings me to my next point:

Being You

Consistency is also about being you. The person that you introduced her to the moment you both began exchanging messages, texts, etc., is the person that she’d naturally expect you to be the entire time. Putting on masks and airs to impress will likely only be to your detriment, and it becomes glaringly apparent the more time passes that a guy (or girl) is putting on a façade—it’s just that girls have more practice at it. This all ties in with your actions, how you behave yourself, where you take her, not cancelling your engagements with her, consistent communication that she is receptive to*…this all builds the support structure that any relationship (whatever kind of relationship you two have in mind) needs to succeed.

*Note: Consistency does not mean persistency. Do not continuously text someone who is not returning your texts. You are digging your own grave…

What Consistency Shows Women

If I had to boil it all down to one word it would be this: security. Consistency shows a woman that you can be trusted; you’re a man of your word; you’re a man of action. (This isn’t about placing undue gender roles on anyone, by the way, because consistency can show men that women can be trusted, and that they are women of action and it also shows women that women are a wom…nevermind. It’s 2015, and there are too many combinations of relationships for me to type.) In any case, it shows them that whatever it is you set out to do or endeavor upon, you’ll see it to completion, which translates sexually, financially, and emotionally. It’s an important quality for women. Even if you’re looking just to hook up, she’ll still want to see this—don’t break your fucking time, because then it’s a waste of her fucking time. If you’re looking for something long term, then it’s doubly important, as it shows that she can build with you, and not for you.

Final Thoughts

Initial meetings are important because it is a time to get to know one another, and to set the mood and tone of what you’re looking for from the gate. That said, hiding character flaws is something we all do reflexively because we don’t want to scare the other person off before they’ve seen the awesomeness we have to offer. That said, remember that you’re setting the mood. Meaning that whoever you are at the start of talking is who she expects to see as time goes on. No one likes ugly surprises—it’s like catfishing… only inside-out, or backwards, or…you know what I mean.

So if you have anger issues, or if you’re really sarcastic, a little honesty once you guys have gotten to know one another better wouldn’t hurt. Just make sure you’re tactful.

Read the entire list of Tinder tips here:

Commandment X
Commandment IX
Commandment VIII
Commandment VII
Commandment VI
Commandment V
Commandment IV
Commandment III
Commandment II
Commandment I