The next time your favorite Italian restaurant brings out those bread sticks and olive oil to your table, keep in mind they could be suggesting you go fuck yourself. Italians do not actually eat their bread sticks this way, however ancient Greeks used bread shaped dildos lubricated with olive oil to satisfy those late night cravings. If you have ever wondered about the history of your favorite pleasure toy we are here with a brief overview of the twisted history of dildos.
That pink plastic perfection hiding in your bedside drawer has spent about 30,000 years becoming the magical toy it is today. According to some archaeologists, humans already made dildos as early as during the Stone Age. Ancient Greek vase art portrayed dildos in a clear and explicitly sexual manner often used in orgies or masturbation scenes. There are also the bizarre breadstick dildos we mentioned earlier called olisbokollikes that were recovered from 5th century Greece and tend to top all the “weirdest sex toys” lists around the Internet. Some civilizations even included elaborate gold and bronze dildos in their burial rituals. The “Cantonese groin,” was a root sufficiently penis-shaped to be used as a dildo by peasant women.
When you think of dildo, you probably imagine a silicone (or plastic) phallus shape. However, both of these are newer inventions, and people used other types of materials earlier. During history, people made wooden dildos, stone, tar, ivory, bone, and many others. Today, you can even find ones made of metal designed for the ones looking for something a bit different. Obviously, stone dildos are not the a great choice, so people started looking for something more comfortable. During the fifteenth century, in Italy, people began using materials like leather to make them a bit softer and more enjoyable. Similarly, in the seventeenth century Japan, they used buffalo horns for making dildos. In Greece, people used leather and animal intestines to make dildos comfortable and to offer a more natural texture. Over the years, people moved to more standardized materials like rubber, glass, and anything that can be easily sterilized and cleaned.
Dildos did become taboo for a while as Christianity spread, even as recently as 1980 bills have been passed through the house and senate to regulate the number of dildos someone could have in their home. (The Arizona Dildo Law) There are many places where buying a dildo is not possible. For example, purchasing one in Alabama requires a note from your doctor. Naturally, one can assume that dildos are used as medical devices in Alabama. Similarly, selling dildos was illegal in Texas as well. While the Texas dildo law remains, judges are unwilling to charge anyone, and there haven’t been prosecutions in over a decade. Sex toys are illegal in India as well.
While the dildo is literally as old as phallic rocks, the vibrator is a more recent invention and needs electric or battery power to operate. Vibrators were originally devised for sinister and downright invasive purposes, by doctors who wanted to use them to treat “hysterical” women patients. So, if you prefer a powered toy you can thank the crazy French doctors for your next O.
