The idea of threesome is hot in theory. It’s like tasting the forbidden fruit without actually stepping into the forbidden garden. As much as there’s a chance that you’d have a great time, there may be a few times when nothing’s going to go right. We’re here to help you weigh the pros and cons to avoid a sticky situation.
If you’re in a long term committed relationship trying a threesome for the first time and you are the jealous type, we suggest you try some other way to spice up your sex life. In theory it’s a great idea, until you’re in the moment and your man is pounding another woman, who looks nothing like you and you find yourself wondering if that’s what he really wants. Or as a man watching another man you just met buried in your girl and her loving it may stir up some issues in your brain. There’s nothing like hearing your partner moan for another person in a way you’ve never heard to stir up some serious insecurities. If you’re not ready to let go of those kinds of issues, we say steer clear. However, if you are single and looking to mingle, or a college student with a relatively steady partner who wants to bring along a friend then we say go for it!
Man in bed with two women, one woman sulking
All relationships can hit a bump and dry out a bit, but if you’re looking to fix your sexual hiatus with a threesome, you may need to reevaluate your tactics. First off, if your partner is not into having sex at all, I doubt adding another person to the mix will make it sounds more appealing. Second, if they just don’t want sex with you, but jump at the idea of adding another, you run the risk of losing them to that third person.
Finding a third person can prove problematic, as not everyone is comfortable going out and just picking someone up. Some people turn to inviting in a close friend, the idea that there is preexisting trust and comfort can seem appealing. On the other hand, there is the chance you can ruin a good friendship. Partners may become uncomfortable once the sexual escapade is over, and not want to engage in a casual friendship anymore. The friend may also feel like your relationships just jumped up a level, and not be able to step back into the friend zone.
Whenever you are introducing something new sexually into a relationship, there’s the chance that someone will love it and someone will hate it. A risk you run when trying a threesome is that one partner may realize that they have just found something they never knew they were missing. It could bring to light that they’re unhappy or unsatisfied with your current sexual lifestyle, and may have gotten the push to make a change. Many people are too scared to ever try sex with someone of the same gender, and after a threesome that allows them to experiment in a safer environment, they may find out they enjoy it a bit more than they imagined and are actually gay.
Man and Two Women in Bed Together — Image by © Ben Welsh/zefa/Corbis
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean to say that threesomes are a horrible idea, just make sure to weigh the risks and keep communication open. In a trusting, confidant, comfortable and secure relationship, opening the door to a threesome could be great. With proper communication and boundaries understood by all parties, a threesome could help meet needs that you and your partner can’t do on your own.
