The current climate has made casual dating pretty much a thing of the past, however casual sex is still on the table for some if you’re willing to take the risk. For many people that risk is exactly what is enticing about adventures into casual sex. If you are considering giving it a go, we have some things you really should know first.
Keep it Casual
Don’t go looking for casual sex, with the hopes of it turning into something more down the road. this isn’t the time nor the place for conversations about how you’re coping with your dad’s new girlfriend post your mom’s abrupt move to some isolated land in the mountains. This isn’t an invitation to be boring or taciturn, it’s just a note of caution for you to keep it easy-breezy. Ask about movies, books, or music if you want, but don’t try to share your hopes and dreams, or childhood memories.
Set Boundaries
A one-night stand doesn’t really need rules, however a pattern of casual sex does need some clear guidelines laid out for the best chance of success. This doesn’t need to be a very deep conversation, it can be as simple as: “Are you cool with keeping this casual? No big deal if you aren’t, I just want to be on the same page because that’s what I’m looking for.” Casual sex may sound like a free romp in the hay no strings attached, but it really does take a little bit of investment to make sure you are both clear on what exactly you are engaging in and just how far you are both willing to go.
No hanging out
Casual sex does not include pillow talk or after sex snacks. Prolonged proximity leads to intimacy. If you hang out with someone long enough, you become friends, and then you’re friends who are regularly sleeping together and spending more and more time together and things can get messy. You don’t need to immediately run out the door after your roll together, just be aware that things like showering together or cuddling up and watching a show after sex can lead places you are not looking to go.
Most hookups don’t start with someone coming up to another person and asking, “Would you be down to have some sex tonight with no expectations for the future and no commitment whatsoever?” So, make sure that you are open with your hookup, so they are aware that this is a surface level casual connection and not going to go anywhere more than the bedroom.
