We’ve all met them, the nice, normal, traditional, vanilla people. There is nothing wrong with not being into kinky sex. If conventional style is your thing that’s great. However what should you do if your involved with someone who is vanilla and you’re more of a banana split. We’ve got some tips to make you both happy.
The most important thing to remember is to be gentle with your partner. If you just jump right into the heavy stuff they may never like it or even let you try again. Ask and answer each others questions, if introducing them to a toy or a striking implement handle it first try it on yourself to know what to anticipate. The questions should be a little more in-depth than just “how does this work” you want to really understand what’s going on and why, and why it turns them on so that you are responding properly to your partner. For instance if they are into spankings they may want you to be cooperative or to struggle and fuss a bit. As always MAKE SURE your safe word is clearly communicated and that anyone new to kink understands what it is and how/when to use it.
Before you ask..no turning the lights on while having missionary sex is not kinky. There are a few ways to turn the heat up in missionary position if you would rather take baby steps rather than jump right into inferno sex. Try joining in, masturbating while he’s still pounding away can not only up your pleasure level but chances are he will enjoy watching. If you’re ready to be a bit more adventurous try restraints. We suggest ties or scarves unless your partner is more experienced in bondage.
As with any other part of a relationship compromise is essential! It doesn’t have to be all or nothing, or all the time. You have just as much right to request kink free sex as well. When you do try new things they can be simple. For example if your partner is into furry play maybe just wearing a head band with ears will be enough to help them enjoy the encounter more.
Remember you may like it after all you never know until you try. If you do try and find out you don’t like it there’s no harm in that either. There’s always porn to meet your partners needs 😉
